The Truth about Mental Health: Depression

According to the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI), an estimated 16 million adults had a major depressive episode in the United States last year. Depression is also the leading cause of disability worldwide…which means it’s not just us, it’s not just you.

More importantly: You aren’t alone.

This simple fact is so edifying and so often lost in the midst of depression. People often report that things feel heavier in the middle of it - whether objects, emotions, the brokenness around us and in us, all weighty. It can feel like you need to carry it all by yourself. Even the word depression gives a nod to pressures which can feel overwhelming. We need to know we aren’t the first, we aren’t the only one, experiencing this struggle; but also have someone understand that our struggle is unique, not the same as their own.

We need to know that we are supported, valued, and loved in the messy middle, not just in the victory or the valley.

Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is share space, to hold time together, with no expectation. This is something God does for us. He constantly invites us in, and enters into our space to do this life together, to walk the journey, especially when the road is windy and solemn. He doesn’t tell us to buck up. He enters our struggle and says, “I AM." He collects our tears. He hears our anger. He reaches down in Jesus Christ.

In today’s podcast, Pastor Gabe Kasper shares his own journey with depression. We talk about complicated emotions and symptoms, the spiral that can be depression, life changes and triggers, burnout, family life and support, and leading with vulnerability. Gabe shares lots of insight, including books, Scripture texts, and honesty. You’ll note that this podcast is pat-answer free.

This passage sticks out to me from Gabe’s list, particularly these words written by the apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians 7:6:

But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus…

God comforts.

God sends people to comfort us.

We aren’t on this journey alone. You might be a Paul in this moment or you might be a Titus. We pray today’s podcast gives you some tools either way.

Find helpful resources recommended by Gabe in the show notes:

We’d love to have you share with us your story, experiences, or insight on depression in the comments.

The Marriage Gratitude Challenge: Bring on the Kisses

 It’s officially November, which means my social media feeds are filling up with gratitude challenges. These challenges give us little ways to stretch the Thanksgiving season in a good way. They remind us to sit in our thankfulness a bit longer, to stop and smell the metaphorical roses God gives us, and maybe the thorns too. 

When we are asked to go around the room and share what we are most thankful for, our marriages and families are nearly always at the top of our lists, after things like salvation and eternity. For most of us, families are a safe place where we can let our hair down, go a couple days without a shower, and be forgiven for words which came out too quickly, too harshly, or too grumpily. This is never truer than in the art of marriage. 

Marriage equals one flesh, and sometimes one flesh can be a little too close for comfort. 

Our spouse may get the best of us, because of this intimacy, but they likely get the worst of us also. Our most treasured relationship is the least likely to actually reap the benefits of our gratitude. If I struggle at work, my spouse generally gets an earful. If I burn the dinner, my spouse is the one who dials the pizza delivery guy and pats my back. If I am outraged at my child’s apparent complete lack of concern for authority, my spouse navigates through my spat-out words, heavy sighs, and bevy of opinions.  

I can show my spouse I am grateful for their sacrifice, their care, and their presence, in many different ways and it’s good practice to:

Say thank you

Do nice things for them

Bring some flowers or good meat home

Plan a surprise date night

Eat at a table and make some conversation

Do some laundry

However, I want to give you one of the simplest and most profound ways to say thank you to your marriage and to your man/woman: 

Kiss him more. 

Whether physical touch is either of your love languages or not, kissing speaks intimacy. You can’t go around your workplace or church kissing people on the lips. If you kissed your neighbor people would think you had lost it. Kissing is reserved for very special relationships. Marriage is over-the-top special. Marriage is mystery-of-God special. When we kiss, we acknowledge the uniqueness of what God has given us in our marriage.  

We know from God’s word marriage is a mystery and now we know from science that kissing speaks strange mystery into a marriage. We aren’t quite sure why kissing does what it does but it releases hormones which create bonding and attachment in our brains to the recipient of our affection. It reduces our stress levels by releasing other hormones. It triggers excitement and a lust for not only our partner, but life and living. I’m pretty sure all these gifts are from a God who knew what He was doing when He created lips, smiles, mouths, and even tongues.

Marriage researchers have also found that six-seconds is a kiss with promise.

 Six seconds is a little longer than most of us are used to, I’d wager. I can’t think of anything that speaks gratitude so much as giving time, sacrificing what needs to be done for something as piddly in the world’s eyes as a kiss.

Kiss her more.

Kisses speak God-gifted mystery over a life committed to one another, which seems less than mysterious most days. Six-second kisses break the monotony of life and add passion to the day. Six-second kisses bring us to the now of the moment, rather than the to-do list of worries in our heads. Because they seem kind of long, they remind our spouse they are valued and treasured enough to tarry, a message our Savior brings to us on repeat, easily lost in our harsh and broken world.

I challenge you to try it:

Every day in this month of gratitude, share some thanks with your spouse with a six-second kiss.

Let them know there’s nothing attached to it, but pure gratitude, and if you end up lingering together longer for conversation or…something else, so be it. Either way, here is your Marriage Gratitude Challenge: bring on the kisses.

We want to spur one another on to gratitude in our marriage, and maybe a little spiciness. Anytime during the month of November tell us in the comments what makes you grateful for your spouse and you’ll be entered to win a random drawing for a copy of He Calls Me Loved.

YA: Moved

We hear a whole lot of ideas about the relationship between mountains and faith.

Are we supposed to be able to speak to the mountains in make them move?

Does God really move mountains?

If God moves mountains, what does that mean for my life when mountains start to crumble all around me?

At the very least, I think we can all admit…

It’s complicated.

Mountains, fear, and faith are not easy concepts to understand on their own, much less when you throw them into a pot together.

In today’s podcast (part of our young adult series which walks through Psalm 46), we address our relationship with a BIG God, BIG mountains, and BIG faith. The answers may look different than you expect them to, faith may come from places you didn’t see coming.

God is moved.

God does move.

God moves when we can only sit, head bent low, watching the mountains around us crumble.

Mountains are big, our fear can feel big, yet our God is bigger and His Love is bigger.

Because we know Jesus, we know a different reality IN our fear, not instead of it. Though the earth give way, though the mountains be moved, we can say -

My God and His Love show up big.