Conversation, Jesus, and Vulnerable Enough to Be Wrong

I could sit and talk with my husband about Jesus, grace, or the struggles of life for hours.

Do you have anyone like that in your life?

I think we all need at least one person we can spontaneously talk to about Scripture, about life.

Not to get all the theology right. Not with an agenda. Not to fill in our Bible study books, but to just talk.

I do love that my husband can answer my questions, find me good resources, and correct my rash heretical moments. Don’t get me wrong, being married to a pastor has its perks.

I love him more though, because he is safe.

I love him because he loves Jesus.

I love him because he listens and shares and dreams and puts a manly spin on the world that I would miss otherwise. I love him because he is vulnerable enough not to know it all, but desires to go deeper and learn more, every time.

It’s important to have places and people in our life we can be wrong with. We need people to wander around conversation with. People who can point out our issues, not because they want to be right, rather because you’re having a discussion and that’s what discussion looks like – a volley, a banter, an opening of minds and hearts.

The best part about doing this around the Bible is that the Bible is always right! The Bible holds Truth in Love in perfection, so we have somewhere to go to figure this life out…together.

What would life look like without genuine discussion?

Boring.

Sad.

Ranting.

Unsafe.

Really, many, many spaces and places we find ourselves today.

So, Dave and I invite you into our Scripture conversation in two short and thought-provoking episodes connected to the I Love My Shepherd and Grafted Heart Advent series –

Above All Names

If you like it, we’re happy to produce more and have you join our conversations. Give us a shout out, a review, or tell us in the comments what you think this Advent as you listen.

Look for the first of the two episodes this Thursday –

Above All Names: Old Testament

And the second on December 7th –

Above All Names: New Testament

Here are all the links you need for the Advent series:

Above All Names Advent Devotion PDF
Above All Names Printable Images
Above All Names Advent Reading and Writing Plan

Remember, all the devos and podcasts can be found right here on ilovemyshepherd.com and graftedheart.com each day of Advent! Subscribe to the blog to get them in your inbox each day. The Podcast can be found on the Podcast Page, iTunes, or Stitcher as they are released.

Who can you be vulnerable with enough to be wrong sometimes, to have real and meaningful discussion, to share a moment of safety in a crazy unsafe world?

Refusing to be halfway in

How many times have you invited someone and never received an invitation back?

It hurts.

This isn’t new to our generation. Maybe connecting with people is complicated by the presence of social media and a disconnection in neighborhoods, but reaching out and not receiving meaningful relationship in return is not new.

Paul addresses this universal human concern directly in Galatians 4:15-20:

 What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me.16 Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? 17 They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. 18 It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, 19 my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! 20 I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.

Paul has theological concerns that are the purpose of his letter to the Galatians. He wants them to be spiritually free, not burdened by this yoke of circumcision and Levitical law that the Judaizers were trying to deceive them with. But he knew that spiritual freedom didn’t exist in a box. Spiritual freedom impacts every freedom in the Galatians’ lives, and in ours as well.

Paul’s message was that he wanted, and expected, real, genuine, honest, and reciprocal relationship with the Galatians. Is that too much to ask?

To some extent, yes, and Paul knows it. Our relationships will not be perfect. We are all sinful people. Paul speaks about this in his own letter to the Roman church, in Romans 3:9-12:

What then? Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, 10 as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one;
11     no one understands;
    no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
    no one does good,
    not even one.”

We are all in this relational reality boat together. I mess up, you mess up. We offer confession and forgiveness and the planet turns and turns.

However, Paul also points out that there is a difference between sin present in our relationships and trading in people we love to impress other people. I can’t deal with masks. I can’t deal with fake, and very many of us cannot deal with that kind of rejection.

Paul, a very real person, had every right to be heartbroken, angry, sad, and bent out of shape about this kind of behavior in a relationship, particularly in the church.

Paul’s message to the Galatians and to us is:

We are all in.

All in.

Paul didn’t shut off his love for them – he wrote and labored for them. He references the pain of his heart and mind, the cost of being tossed aside by his fellow brothers in Galatians 4:19:

…my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!

This is serious labor, the work of relationship.

Just as children are born and grow over time, so does relationship and Paul is going the distance, not giving of himself half-heartedly. Loving when it’s hard. Caring when it feels like too much work, when it physically hurts.

He also calls some BS. Honesty in relationship, spoken in love and with the foundation of real relationship, breaks open the doors for Christ to shape and grow us. Paul, wraps his challenging statements in love for the Galatians.

 I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you. (Galatians 4:20)

“I wish I could speak gently to you. I wish this conversation wasn’t so necessary or so painful…” (Heidi’s paraphrase)

However, he calls it like it is. He expects the Galatians to be all in, as well; Nothing less.

Some people include so that the can exclude.

Whether on purpose or because they are unaware of life outside themselves, this is being halfway in a relationship. It’s not ok.

Paul says, All in or no in.

It gives me strength in relationship to know that I can call it like it is in love, have some level of Biblical expectation of people, while letting Christ form each of our imperfect selves. All wrapped up in the grace of a God who does not disappoint, who always includes.

God is completely and utterly all in.

Romans 8:31-32 is one of my favorite Bible passages about our All-in God:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

All things- exactly what we need for freedom in our relationships, exactly what we need for this day, for this difficult person, for being true and real and honest, when life is grand and when it’s tougher than we ever imagined.

Lord, you are an All-In God. Guide us in our steps, our days, and our relationships to love and set boundaries as You would have us, but to never give up hope that You are working, to give when it’s hard labor, and to love when we do not receive. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.


Discussion questions:

What are your relationship pet peeves? When are relationships hard for you? What happens in them to make them hard?

When has God called you to have stronger boundaries, while remaining “all in” in a relationship?

When has someone invited you further into their life in a way that spoke grace into your life?

YA bonus – Freedom in friendship without fear

Have you ever had a friendship you wish you could get back?

Sometimes friendships are for a season, and that’s ok. Sometimes friendships go the long haul and see us through the hardest sorrows and the most special days. Then there are friendships that slip out of your hands. There, and then missing. You might notice the void right away, or it may take years until you suddenly realize – “I let go of something that I should have held on tight to with all my strength.”

When I was in elementary school I had a very best friend. We performed musicals in her living room with homemade costumes and everything. We stayed up too late talking and laughing. We played Jeopardy and the Oregon Trail on this tiny computer screen that was like a square box and had a green cursor. I loved her. She loved me. I was a part of her family and she was a part of mine.

Then, we began to grow up. Suddenly, boys and studies and new friendships seemed so much more important and glamorous…to me. I’m the one who gave up on a friendship. I watched it fade to black and acted callous, like it didn’t matter. But it did.

There are few people in this life who love you just for who you are. People you’ve shared every fear with and they love you more for it. I traded trust for what looked good at the moment. And trust is where real freedom resides in a relationship.

This week, we aim for more freedom in our friendships as we look at Galatians 2:4-7 to understand the difference between false and real brothers, and holding on to what really matters.

Discerning friendship is rarely easy, but God’s Word gives us guidance, Christ’s love offers constant forgiveness, and trust begins and ends with a real and active, living God in our lives.

Dropping the yoke of fake friendship, freedom in trust and being real…

Question of the Week:

Is this friendship offering freedom or fear? Am I offering freedom or fear in friendship?

Did you download this week’s Dear 52 Chasing Freedom card yet? It’s free! 😉 Click on the link to find it and connect in friendship today.