Hello my name is and genuine friendship

Friendship makes the world a better place. It’s a fact. Even Jesus calls us friend, rather than minion. Life is better with people to share it, to cry over it with, to laugh over it with, and to sometimes grumble over it with.

And Bible studies are always better with friends. Have any of you ever had the privilege of sitting around with a group of friends, laughing about toddler antics or teenage antics, crying over the weight of a loss, eating too much dessert, eyes wide open to discovering something new as God peels off another layer of our hard hearts and we start to see real and living changes in our lives.

It’s a thing. Maybe you’ve never had it. Maybe you’ve had a shadow of it and you want the real deal- gathering around the Word, eating together, giving grace for lessons missed and words unread, sharing mercy when someone admits they yell at their kids and someone else admits that they don’t really like their church. It’s an open place, with lots of sharing. There is truth to show us our sin and grace so that it doesn’t destroy us.

People around the Word in real and genuine love for one another creates actual life change. Marriages aren’t easier but they are stickier. Lives still have struggle, but it’s less lonely. Relationships aren’t perfect, but there is tender care, mended fences, and growth.

I want more places where my life looks more like…

real

genuine

authentic

growth

care

gathering

community.

And I don’t think it’s asking too much of one another.

Who is one other person in your life that you can share this kind of real friendship with?

Maybe they are close by, maybe you can sit around coffee and talk through a week of study together. Maybe they are far away and you can get creative and still sit around coffee and talk through a week of study together, or type through a week of study together, or text through a week of study together.

Our deep desire for friendship is from God. We were created for community, we need each other. And He will help us to create it together, someone takes the first step, and another comes along. That is His Spirit doing some of His best work, helping, comforting, connecting.

We start our Good Gifts study of the book of James on March 6th. Create your group now- in person, on Facebook, google hangouts, texting, whatever! Or invite just one friend to join you, invite one neighbor to join you, or invite one stranger to join you and start with step one of friendship- inviting them in.

Step 2 – let’s be genuine together. You will all be in my prayers as I write and plan this study, especially those of you struggling for friendship. I have been there. Walking that road is hard, but you aren’t alone. I hear from so many women seeking just one good friend. She may just be sitting next to you.

Let’s reach out and across.

“Hello my name is….Would you like to join me to study?”

Join in on any I Love My Shepherd study! Find information about ongoing and print studies available on the Studies Available page. Invite a few people to your home or the local coffee shop or park for even a half hour together each week. Let’s be genuine…let’s start something genuine. Let’s find and give real friendship.

“Hello my name is…”

Say Goodbye to Incongruence

Spring hasn’t even sprung and I’m so hungry for something new.

I’m ready for a new day, a new song, a new landscape out my kitchen window. While we know that new isn’t always better, I think we were made for the knowledge of something to come, something waiting just around the corner.

We live in eternity, you see, but we can’t see it and we can’t hold it in our hands. So, we live with eternity as an idea, a place saved for later. We call it heaven and we tuck it away for deathbeds and difficult days. We imagine golden gates and gemstones and a giant mansion of many rooms that hold pints upon pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. (Ok, maybe that’s just my daydream.)

While that may be a sliver of eternity, it’s not the real deal, and I’m tired of settling for the pretty picture when I can have the real thing. How about you?

Eternity is now. Eternity is God with us, placing His Spirit inside of us, and that Spirit flowing out like a mighty river that can not be stopped up.

Jesus’ brother, James, knew a little bit about Eternity walking around the earth right in front of him. He ate food with the Son of God. He played games with the Son of God. And like the disciples, he walked away from the Son of God in His darkest hours. I wonder if that is why walking with the Son of God, walking in the Eternal Life that we are offered, today, this day, is so important to James, and written all over the pages of his book.

James is worried about a little thing called congruence. He’s worried about whether we’re living Eternity now, or whether we’re living one way and saving eternity for later.

The reverse – often our daily struggle – is incongruence.

Incongruence happens when we say we love God, but ignore our neighbor who is struggling with cancer, with addiction, with any number of very present needs.

Incongruence is when we go to church, but push aside making disciples for the ever present to-do list of the day.

Incongruence happens when I can not, for the life of me, get it together to put my husband’s needs before my own and give him the best parts of me on a daily basis.

I am incredibly incongruent. We all are, but the book of James teaches us that as we grow up into Christ, as we acknowledge and remember the eternity we have been offered today, we will become more and more congruent in every tomorrow.

Congruence is that blessed thing we seek when we understand what we value and put it into action rather than push it under the couch. Congruence is when we know Who our God is and how He changes everything, makes everything new.

When faith becomes life, rather than a part of our life. 

Who’s hungry for that?

Oh, I am. We’ll never be perfect, friends. Chief of sinners though we be. Jesus died so we can live in eternity, though, rather than guilt ridden and incongruent. This is the work of the book of James. We’ll look at what we’ve been given, and all the good in the gifts we never even knew were sitting on our front door step, from a God who loves us so very much.

Join us for New.

Join us for Congruent.

Join us for Good Gifts.

This is a six week study. Find all the posts on the blog here by searching for “Good Gifts.”

There are short 10-15 minute study posts 4 days a week. You can find video lessons on the I Love My Shepherd YouTube Channel.

Let’s get started by walking this road together.

To Eternity, to a God who walks with me, and to congruence…let’s do this.

This study will make it’s way to the print version in 2020. See more on the Studies Available page.

Fear and the Crazypants Cycle


Fear does funny things to us.

We once could look at life reasonably. We could hold discussions, share opinions, eat across the table from someone we disagreed with and not want to rip their head off.

But that’s anger, you say, not fear? Isn’t intent to harm, even when it’s deep inside us, never actually expressed- that’s anger?

No, no it is not, and it’s time to get honest about that. We are destroying one another, not because we are angry, but because we are afraid.

When I sit down at my computer, when I open my google plus tab, when I connect with my friends across miles and space, I see fear written all over the internet, and it makes us crazypants, which looks a whole lot like angry.

Let me introduce you to the crazypants cycle. I jest, but it’s real.

First, we are afraid.

We are afraid for our finances – will there be enough money? will I be able to make ends meet? will I have a job next month?

We are afraid for our marriages – will he still love me? do I make her happy? will we make it through the storm and the struggle?

We are afraid for our children – will a shooter come to their school? will they understand the values I try to pass on? is this world screwing them up? am I screwing them up?

We are afraid for our neighborhoods – if people look different, will I understand them? will they understand me? Different makes us uncomfortable, unsure.

We are afraid for our churches – where are all the people? what if we close? will our people hear the Gospel? will it change anything?

So many questions and so few answers. So much of life we don’t know, we don’t understand, we aren’t in control of. It’s scary. Life is scary. The world is a scary place, because this isn’t the way God intended it. Sin and divisiveness, hurtful words, selfish ambition, isn’t what we were created for. So we make assumptions, we jump to conclusions. We make accusations.

Enter anger.

We say things that should be said in person. We refuse to let someone disagree. We eat, sleep, and breathe this climate of anger until it sucks us in. We become unreasonable and we so desperately need to be right, that we become rude without noticing. We shift from speaking the truth in love to speaking the truth in rage.

And next, comes shame.

Words come out and relationships are affected in a way that “whoops” just can’t fix. So we crawl back under our original rock of fear, which was Satan’s original intent after all. Work done, he slinks under his own rock, slimy and satisfied.

But there is a solution to fear, which anger and crazypants can never give.

The Holy Spirit.

He’s real. He’s a gift, left for us by a Savior that knew we would need Him like fish need water. He freely gives This Spirit in the waters of baptism. He welcomes the little children, the sojourner, the weary, and the weak, the disgusted, and the disgusting.

“…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

2 Timothy 1:7

Let us lay our fears down at the cross of Christ Jesus, instead of the mob of social media. Let us lift our prayers to Him like incense, rather than battle uphill to be heard.

He gives us His gifts in our anger, and He gives us His gifts in our shame. He gives us His gifts in our crazypants. He never treats us as less than. He doesn’t need us to be right. He just offers us Redeemed.

So let’s bust out. Let’s bust out of the Crazypants cycle. Let’s call fear what it is, so we can put on love and self-control.

No longer a spirit of fear. Crazypants no more.