My husband entered the room one day last week and asked me this question:

“You like camo, right?”

In my mind I’m thinking,

“Hmm. That’s weird.”

And then I realize, it’s Christmas.

“I like camo, army camo, not leafy camo. No hunting camo. That’s your thing, not mine. And no camo with pink on it. That’s weird. I don’t really like color infiltrating the camo at all, maybe grey or black.”

“What about brown and camo? You like brown and camo, right?

Oh boy. I have to answer this question carefully. He has a little boy hopefulness going on and I have mixed emotions about brown and camo.

“Well, it could be cool. I’d have to see. Do you remember that camo shirt I showed you downtown last week? I like that camo.”

“Ok, good. Yes. Alright.”

Dave leaves the room, while I chuckle over my mug of tea. He’s just the cutest and I love being thought of when I don’t even know it.

There was a time when every year it was an epic decision for us whether we would buy gifts for each other. Pennies were tight, furniture was thread bare, and student loans demanded attention.

But guess what?

Pennies are still tight. Money still needs to be managed. Teenagers eat a lot of food or they die, I’m told. Coats handed down from one kid to the thirteenth at some point wear out, to my chagrin. And all the while my marriage is still there, still constant, still hollering for some attention.

Through changing seasons, locations, and attitudes, I still believe this to be true:

It’s better for your marriage to give your spouse a Christmas gift.

It’s better for your children when you give your spouse a Christmas gift.

Why? I wrote that article for the Concordia Publishing House blog. 😉 Find it here:

The Best Christmas Gift for Your Marriage

Gifts won’t solve marriage problems or wave a magic wand over the way your kids view relationships, but they are a place where I think we often ignore our marriages for other things; a place we gloss over as unimportant.

I also know I could give Biblical evidence for caring for your marriage, psychosocial evidence for what it does for your kids’ future marriages, and all that good stuff, but I can’t make money grow on trees and there’s no rules about how to best care for your marriage. So, you’ll also find some practical ideas for making your spouse feel included and thought of this Christmas season, even on the cheap.

You can hear all about my thoughts in this I Love My Shepherd Podcast Episode:

Please share some ideas of your own for others!

How have you gifted and included your spouse at Christmastime?

4 thoughts on “”

  1. Yes! My biggest challenge is that my husband tends to purchase things as he needs them, so coming up with a gift idea for something he’ll appreciate (because we don’t buy just to buy something) can be difficult. If I do, I often give those ideas to our adult kids or my parents. That leaves me with trying to listen carefully the last couple months of the year for something he mentions that I could get him. We don’t spend much because another thing we prefer to do to celebrate our end of November anniversary and Christmas is an overnight trip or an event that will be special. (a shared experience vs separate items)

  2. My husband and I don’t exchange gifts (mind you we also don’t have kids). We get things for others in need instead- like our church’s angel tree or other families on hard times. We generally get what we want/need assuming we can afford it throughout the year when we need it. (It also makes budgeting easier).

    I think it really depends on the couple. For my husband and I, gifts is the last and the least of the love languages for both of us. Now obviously, if that weren’t different it might matter more. So, we focus more on quality time, the things we say, service, etc. For some marriages, I do think it would be important, but neither of us are that into gifts.

    (Shew, and when I did get gifts from him back in the day, they weren’t that exciting. There were years they came off the Snap-On Truck and others that I showed him things I wanted from Target and then sat in the car while he chose what to actually buy.)

    1. Thanks for sharing, Amy! Yes, every marriage is different. I love the image of sitting in the chair at Target while he shops for what you showed him. Ha! I bet that is more common than know!

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