Fear and the Crazypants Cycle

Fear does funny things to us.

We once could look at life reasonably. We could hold discussions, share opinions, eat across the table from someone we disagreed with and not want to rip their head off.

But that’s anger, you say, not fear? Isn’t intent to harm, even when it’s deep inside us, never actually expressed- that’s anger?

No, no it is not, and it’s time to get honest about that. We are destroying one another, not because we are angry, but because we are afraid.

When I sit down at my computer, when I open my google plus tab, when I connect with my friends across miles and space, I see fear written all over the internet, and it makes us crazypants, which looks a whole lot like angry.

Let me introduce you to the crazypants cycle. I jest, but it’s real.

First, we are afraid.

We are afraid for our finances – will there be enough money? will I be able to make ends meet? will I have a job next month?

We are afraid for our marriages – will he still love me? do I make her happy? will we make it through the storm and the struggle?

We are afraid for our children – will a shooter come to their school? will they understand the values I try to pass on? is this world screwing them up? am I screwing them up?

We are afraid for our neighborhoods – if people look different, will I understand them? will they understand me? Different makes us uncomfortable, unsure.

We are afraid for our churches – where are all the people? what if we close? will our people hear the Gospel? will it change anything?

So many questions and so few answers. So much of life we don’t know, we don’t understand, we aren’t in control of. It’s scary. Life is scary. The world is a scary place, because this isn’t the way God intended it. Sin and divisiveness, hurtful words, selfish ambition, isn’t what we were created for. So we make assumptions, we jump to conclusions. We make accusations.

Enter anger.

We say things that should be said in person. We refuse to let someone disagree. We eat, sleep, and breathe this climate of anger until it sucks us in. We become unreasonable and we so desperately need to be right, that we become rude without noticing. We shift from speaking the truth in love to speaking the truth in rage.

And next, comes shame.

Words come out and relationships are affected in a way that “whoops” just can’t fix. So we crawl back under our original rock of fear, which was Satan’s original intent after all. Work done, he slinks under his own rock, slimy and satisfied.

But there is a solution to fear, which anger and crazypants can never give.

The Holy Spirit.

He’s real. He’s a gift, left for us by a Savior that knew we would need Him like fish need water. He freely gives This Spirit in the waters of baptism. He welcomes the little children, the sojourner, the weary, and the weak, the disgusted, and the disgusting.

“…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

2 Timothy 1:7

Let us lay our fears down at the cross of Christ Jesus, instead of the mob of social media. Let us lift our prayers to Him like incense, rather than battle uphill to be heard.

He gives us His gifts in our anger, and He gives us His gifts in our shame. He gives us His gifts in our crazypants. He never treats us as less than. He doesn’t need us to be right. He just offers us Redeemed.

So let’s bust out. Let’s bust out of the Crazypants cycle. Let’s call fear what it is, so we can put on love and self-control.

No longer a spirit of fear. Crazypants no more.


12 thoughts on “Fear and the Crazypants Cycle”

  1. I would add a very real fear for many which is fear of changing relationships. Discovering our friends don’t think like we do is very scary and unnerving. It leads to much confusion: How could they think that? Am I wrong or are they? Now I see them differently. How am I supposed to handle this?
    These are very real and unsettling feelings in the cracks and corners of very real and important relationships in our lives. Some are feeling alone, some are feeling emboldened.. but not very many people don’t feel the unrest at all.

    This doesn’t change the answer though. In fact maybe it reassures us even more bc we have seen the Holy Spirit work in our relationships before. I am confident that He will move in our lives in the midst of this. But a friend – with whom I can have hard comversations – reminded me of the necessity of humility if we are to gain at all in this. If I can humble myself first, maybe the Holy Spirit won’t have to wrestle me to the ground.

    1. Thanks for adding to the conversation, Angie. It’s true. Change is terrifying for all of us, even when it’s good change. When it’s questionable change, or change that leaves us uncomfortable- then we really can get crazypants. It’s helpful when we can have relationships that allow us to bring our thoughts to the table, understanding that, for the most part they’re fluid. We are always being molded by the Creator and Redeemer. Our thoughts can be shared and change, and that’s ok. It’s also ok to believe something different and still believe in the value of that person, and even what they are sharing because they are also just figuring it all out, like the rest of us.

      1. Such a good point. I have to assume the same things I want others to assume about me: that I continue to learn, grow, and figure things out. And of course the value of a person cannot be found in their opinions. Although that is definitely how this world lurches.

      1. Eph 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle, be patient; bearing with one another in love.

        Miss you Heidi! Hope you and your family are acclimating very well.

      2. Beautiful reference! It’s the bearing with one another we forget to do. We need each other, even in disagreeing. Thank you for sharing, Cindy! Miss you too!

  2. This is the kind of stuff I was thinking about at 3:00 this morning! And…as someone who likes to live in peace with others, how can I continue in that peacefulness when there is so much unrest? It is crazy right now and if anything, should lead to more discussion with our Father.
    Thanks for hitting the nail on the head.

  3. This was great. I think I need the next one. What do you do when someone you love is caught in the crazypants cycle, and it’s you they’re afraid of? Even if they have no reason to be. What do you do when the horrible things they can’t take back have already been said? When you simply don’t see how the relationship can ever be anything but distant again because they’re still afraid? When you’re still frankly, angry at being treated to a big heaping helping of their crazy?

    Is there a bible verse for that? Verses maybe?

    1. Really good questions. I think the short answer is love and boundaries, but that’s not the easy answer, nor will it ever be. Relationships are so complicated, require a LOT of prayer, and sometimes that’s all we can do for other people. Other times God nudges is in a certain direction to care and love. I don’t think any one situation is the same! It would make a good article topic though. I’ll have to think more on that!

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